Feast of Fools A Royal Proclamation & Invitation to Mischief August 14–16, 2025 | Attention Span Acres | Onalaska, WA
Hear ye, hear ye! The current King of Fools prepares to lay down the crown — and only the most gloriously foolish among us may claim it next. By royal absurdity, we hereby summon all jesters, pranksters, buffoons of good character, and anyone who has ever laughed at exactly the wrong moment to join us for the Feast of Fools.
Come to the rolling grounds of Attention Span Acres, where wit is coin and dignity is optional. We gather first to honor our outgoing King with a proper coronation feast — then, through three days of games and gleeful competition, to determine who among us is worthy to wear the crown next. The title is King of Fools, and it is earned, not inherited.
What awaits thee:
- A coronation feast honoring the outgoing King of Fools in the style they deserve
- A tournament of ridiculous games to determine the next worthy fool
- Three days of camping, camaraderie, and creative foolishness
- The solemn and ridiculous crowning of the next King of Fools
A final decree from His Foolishness, the outgoing Foolish King: In one last act of sovereign wisdom, His Foolishness has declared that each guest shall provide their own table and chairs for the coronation feast. He considered providing them himself, but — in keeping with his reign — thought better of it and then forgot entirely. Please bring a table and chairs. This is, frankly, exactly the sort of legacy one should expect.
(In truth, Attention Span Acres does not yet have a feast hall — one is planned as the site continues to grow and improve. In the meantime, we are grateful for your patience and your tables and chairs as we scale back up together.)
What to bring:
- Camping gear for the weekend
- A folding table and chairs for the feast (a final decree of His Foolishness — do not question it)
- Your finest foolish costume — crowns, motley, and bells are encouraged
- A willingness to compete, lose gracefully, and laugh loudly
Attention Span Acres 3486 Centralia Alpha Rd, Onalaska, WA 98570
May the best fool win — and long may the next one reign.
| Ticket Type | Price | QTY | Cart |
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| Feast Of Fools Child Entry (Ages 5 to 17) | $20 |
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| Feast Of Fools Child Entry (Ages 4 and Under) | $0 |
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| Feast Of Fools Saturday Night Feast (Dinner Ticket) (All Ages) | $10 |
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| Feast Of Fools Adult Entry (Ages 18 and Up) | $30 |
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