FEAST OF FOOLS
August 13–16, 2026 | Attention Span Acres, Onalaska WA
The King of Fools is stepping down — and we need a new one.
Join us for a weekend camping event where we send off our outgoing Foolish King in style with a coronation feast, then crown his successor through a series of gloriously ridiculous games and competitions. The title is King of Fools — earned, not inherited.
Gate Schedule:
Merchant Entry: THURSDAY NOON
Pre-Reg Entry: THURSDAY 5PM
General Entry: FRIDAY 9AM
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What’s happening:
FOOLS GAMES:
SCAVENGER HUNT – Look to your site copy for the scavenger hunt list, bring your goods to the appointed place, at the appointed time, and present your foolish loot to the games masters to be judged foolishly by the populous.
MINI CANNONBALL CHALLENGE – Test your mini mettle in this challenge of dexterity, speed, and chaotic endurance. It is a 1v1 battle arming mini cannons with mini cannonballs! Arm your cannon before your opponent does to gain a point in a best in 3 rounds match. But it does not stop there! The audience and you can buy from an arsenal of challenge modes to win extra fools gold and glorious achievement awards if you win the round. Beware, chaos is wild out in the sea, for there are storms, darkness and foolish campiness that may appear in your round. There will be limited participants for this challenge so make sure to sign up when it is available. Candidates are automatically included on the roster as this challenge is REQUIRED to ascend to King of Fools. Good Luck, and may the Faux-madore grant you favor.
MUSICAL BALLOONS – Beat the heat, and your fellow competitors. Join the circle and make sure you’re listening to the music.
WALK THE PLANK – YOU WILL NEED A TEAM OF 4 – Returning in all it’s foolish glory!! Shaking it up a bit this year, team members can not be shared. If you’re aiming to be the King of Fools you’ll test the loyalty of that crew of yours. Snag them up before someone else does.
FOOLISH DEBATE – Are you the top 4 of the competition? You’ll find out at dinner. Join us for the Coronation Feast of our outgoing King of Fools!! Help us thank Patrick the Fool for a great year of shenanigans and fun. Debate with your competitors on such topics as ‘Zippers vs Velcro’, ‘Electorate vs Popularity’, and ‘Jingles vs Bells’. Tell us the populous why you are the correct replacement to follow this great line of Fools and reign over us all for the year to come.
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Feast Menu:
First Remove:
Monster Eye Salad: Balls of various melons
Second Remove:
Nuggets and Worms: Traditional Japanese chicken yakisoba with veg
Third Remove:
Shredded Flesh Sliders: Kahlua pig, Hawaiian sweet rolls, cabbage salad, sauce to your pleasure
Fourth Remove:
Bloody Sponge: Non-traditional strawberry shortcake.
Food allergies, or issues please reach out to Faith Pierce. We will make every reasonable attempt to work within issues.
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What to bring:
–Camping gear for the weekend
–A folding table and chairs for the feast* (feast ware not needed, and will be provided by servers)
–YOUR FAVORITE TANKARD/CUP/DRINKING VESSEL/MAYBE AN EXTRA TO SHARE
–Your best foolish costume – The Feast Theme this year is Halloween, so all costumes are encouraged, and on theme.
–A good attitude and a willingness to lose with dignity
*His Foolishness has decreed that guests provide their own tables and chairs. (Attention Span Acres is a growing site and doesn’t yet have a feast hall — we appreciate your patience and your furniture while we scale back up!)
MERCHANTS: https://docs.google.com/…/1FAIpQLSd81bd8KAr…/viewform…
3486 Centralia Alpha Rd, Onalaska, WA 98570
Long live the Foolish King — and long may the next one reign. 
May the best fool win — and long may the next one reign.
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